She asked me if I wanted to go to a bacon art show, and I froze for several moments. I was using all of my considerable brain power trying to think of any circumstances in which a person would not want to go to a Bacon Art Show.
I looked it up. It was being held at the dooGallery. I had never been, but it seemed pretty legit. We met up, and that's when our adventure began.
As we got closer to out destination, I realized that we were no longer in the best parts of the city. I wasn't particularly concerned, though, until I found the address we were looking for.
|Oh yeah. Legitsville.|
|All the rusted out vehicles in the lot give it character.|
|I can totally see this being a place I spend a lot of time not getting stabbed.|
By this time I was not surprised when the bald tattooed man at the door told is it was cash only. (I didn't photo him because I like my blood on the inside) We were faced with the decision to go find cash or run far away to safety. We of course opted for cash. To further illustrate to you, dear readers, the type of neighborhood in which we were, here is a snapshot of the display that was directly next to the ATM:
|Would you like Black, White, or Latin porn?|
It was a perfectly nice affair once we got in, mostly one white warehouse room with some art. You know, hip. I knew it was hip because the place was crawling with hipsters.
|I have no idea what the Giant Eagle was doing there.|
The art was actually a lot of fun. Here is a selection of my favorites:
|"Double Bacon Rainbow All the Way"|
|"Apparition of the Shroud of Turin, Hickory Smoked Center Cut"|
|Martyr de L'Espece Porcine|
There was even a raffle, in which they gave away a beautiful selection of bacon related door prizes.
|Bacon related door prizes.|
|The tuna salad crackers made with Baconnaise made me ill.|
The gem of the show, the reason for its existence, was the tasting room. If you traded in your raffle ticket you got your hand marked and allowed entrance. Totally worth everything.
There were bacon-wrapped dates, bacon-wrapped water chestnuts, two different kinds of bacon cookies, and three different kinds of bacon cupcakes. The real treasure was bacon and peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate. It was... a transcendent experience.
Oh, and I got my picture taken next to a statue.
|I know. Poignant.|
One last thing. I've been pretty good about giving you guys plenty of nightmare fuel. Today is no exception.
|Have a man made out of a pig.|