Monday, April 8, 2013

G is for Geek

My 25 is Geek Pride Day. I'm sure I'll be posting about it again when the day gets here.

Until then I have a gripe. A geek gripe. Not a legitimate complaint, mind you.

I consider myself to be the last generation of geeks who grew up when being a geek wasn't cool. 

We had video games, but like, Frogger. We had tabletop RPGs, well, we had 2nd edition D&D and World of Darkness for the Goth kids. We had Magic: The Gathering and couldn't imagine a better life.

Kids today, am I right? They have this Wonderland of geek culture to roll around in and it's pretty much all socially acceptable now. We're... we're still working on getting LARPing recognized, but hell, there's even been a movie or two about that. Not flattering ones, but still.

I can't express this enough: I am so happy that things are better now than they used to be. I just can't help but be jealous. 

I mean where was this shit when I was in high school?

Of course, looking back on it, I actually did know a few super-hot nerd girls back then. So I guess being shy and awkward might have been the real culprit. Why can't you people let me blame my failures on things that aren't me?

Are you a geek? Are you picking up what I am putting down? Let me know and join me tomorrow for "H is for Hot for Con."

Saturday, April 6, 2013

F is for Falksen

Since I said that this month I would be focusing primarily on a writing theme, I decided to take this opportunity to talk about another author I know. Last time it was about chocolate-covered Josh Corin, this time it's about the amazingly delightful G.D. Falksen. I could use all of my positive adjectives on this man, I adore him. Also, he does all the Internets.

And that's just the shit I found without really looking. I swear, if I hadn't met him in person, I'd think he existed exclusively on the internet. I don't know how he gets anything done in between doing all these things.

We crossed paths on the Steampunk circuit. Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, we haven't spent that much time in each other's company, but... cons are a different world, especially when you're working them. There's a lot of stress, a lot of bullshit, and nothing ever, ever goes quite right. The company you keep can keep you sane. This guy right here? Turns every green room into a fuckin' Class Fest.

He once slept on the floor of my apartment and I once slept on the floor of his hotel room. The difference was that he wasn't too drunk to go anywhere else. That's class. Oh, and he writes. Also, he once sang me this song:

Is there anyone that you don't see often, but makes a big impact in your life? And join me Monday, when our topic will be "G is for Geek."

Friday, April 5, 2013

E is for Editing (out my filth)

I consider my blog to be a form of art. Not highfalutin art, mind you, but in the category. I'd say I am to Mark Twain what a street mime is to Derek Jacobi. Still, as an "artist" I must contend with the age old struggle between expression and entertainment.

Expression: I got things that need saying. However, if I don't pay close attention, I run the risk of turning this into a dry diary filled with shit like "Today I went to the DMV and had to stand in a long line. I forgot my book so it was really boring. The people in line were bored and angry, but the teller was actually pretty nice when I finally got to her. After that I went to go eat a burger." Oh my god, are you still reading? Thank you for not leaving just then.

Entertainment: I want you guys to have a good time and keep coming back. I want you to feel compelled to leave comments and share with your friends. I am an artist and I feel a deep need for you to LOVE ME! So sometimes I find myself on virulent expletive-filled rants about things I don't actually care about, just because I think it might be funny.

Somewhere in the middle you get what I'm going for, but it's a constant dance.

Like this post. I've said all I need to say, but I feel that it lacks pizazz... so I'll leave you with this cover of Comic Action Pizazz:

Let me know what kind of similar struggles you face, and don't forget to come back tomorrow, when out topic will be "F is for Falksen."

Thursday, April 4, 2013

D is for Deadpool

Maintaining character integrity is crucial to creative writing. There is a razor-thin line between a character's actions being unexpected and unbelievable.

It is also vital to set a tone for the narrative and to stick with it, only deviating during certain key moments in order to provide emphasis for the situation.

And let's not forget the importance of maintaining the continuity of the complex world that you create.

Except that sometimes doing those things is fucking boring as all hell.

That's why there's Deadpool.

Marvel comics has dozens of ongoing titles. All of them have writers that occasionally have bad ideas that can't fit into their story's continuity. All of those ideas combine to form Deadpool, the Merc with the Mouth.

He's like the Voltron of stupid... or maybe the Captain Planet of inane. The point is, that Doctor Strange, Master of Black Magic occasionally goes poopsies, and no one is going to bring it up but D-Pooly. Comic books are all about wish fulfillment, right? Well, Deadpool is the incarnation of that part of us that wonders why the Hulk manages to keep his pants or what b-list heroes and villains do in their off-time. His inability to die, smart mouth and constant need for entertainment ensure that those of us who follow along are going to enjoy the ride.

The Regeneratin' Degenerate is only able to remain interesting as a font is pie-slinging, cross-dressing, chimichanga-eating gags because he is also the darkest, most deeply disturbed man who ever got a title at Marvel, because:

1. Wade Wilson has murdered hundreds of people. Not out of a misplaced sense of judgement, like the Punisher, but for money.

2. The healing factor that grants his immortality also causes him to be hideously deformed. His whole body is riddled with tumors which resemble 3rd-degree burn scars over 100 percent of his body, that's why he never takes off his mask.

3. He is schizophrenic. There are two complete voices in addition to his own that occupy his mind. They are always watching him and there are often conversations between the three of them.

4. He is fully aware that he is a fictional character. In the whole of the Marvel Universe, only 'Pool knows what's up. He often makes asides to the reader or comments on what's happening in the next panel. If fact, in one universe he takes it in himself to kill everyone in the world so that they can be free of the slavery of being manipulated by writers.

5. He absolutely and completely hates himself. He knows he's crazy, he knows he's physically and ethically disgusting.  His unending life has made him forget how much life is worth. This is why he acts out, trying to remember.

In the end, what you get is the unique ability to tell absolutely whatever story you feel like at the moment and no matter what, it's in character. Whether it's Deadpool trying to redeem himself, robbing a bank, stopping a villain, having lunch with a villain, stalking Spider-Man, or TPing the X-Mansion, it all makes sense and it's all fun to watch.

How do you feel about it? Have you even heard of the guy? Don't forget to comment, and don't forget to stop by tomorrow when we'll be discussing "E is for Editing (out my filth)."

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

C is for Chocolate

A while ago I decided to take a creative writing class with my dear friend and new blogger Kendra. The class was being taught by a delightful young man named Joshua Corin. I believe he might be known amongst his people as a "mensch." The class was a ridiculous assortment of hilarious characters, remind me to tell you about them some time.

He would regularly advise us against indulging in stereotypical self-destructive writer behavior, such as taking drugs or alcohol in order to "improve" our writing. He informed us that most of the writers who were known for drinking began to do so after they got famous, and that their work declined after that. I asked him if there was anything he did indulge in to put him in the writing space. He looked down and got a little sheepish. It looked like he was trying to decide what sort of classroom-appropriate answer he could give and eventually decided on "Chocolate. I eat a lot of chocolate."

I've often wondered what he chose not to say just then. Does he go home and prepare two buckets of chocolate sauce, undress and quaff from one until he's drenched and then sit in front of a tape recorder, dictating his novel while pawing cocoa from the other bucket like Winnie the Pooh from a jar of honey?

I like to imagine that he does. Important note: I don't like to imagine him doing it, I need to make that clear. I just like to imagine that sometimes when he comes to class after having finished up a chapter for his new book, that there's still a little chocolate behind his ears.

Don't forget leave a comment with your feelings on chocolate, and don't forget to meet me here tomorrow for "D is for Deadpool."

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

B is for Bloggess

There is no shortage of people around here that drip with adoration for The Bloggess. My story is nothing special, and I think that's the best part.

I doubt that I would have ever started this blog if it weren't for her encouraging everyone around her to be proud of who they were, even if especially if who they were was a bunch of weirdos. In fact, it was my experience with this blog that inspired me to pursue my dream of going back to school and pursuing a journalism degree.

Now, I'm not afraid to take responsibility for my own success, but I feel compelled to express appreciation when it manages to seep into my lonesome, wicked heart.

Last year, I wrote a post called B is for Bucket List. I decided it was time that I put together a short list of some life goals. On that list was
  • Meet Jenny Lawson - This woman has helped me tremendously and I would like to thank her in person one day.  Also, I want to get a picture of me staring at her boobs.
Well, I haven't been posting much in the last year, but I'm pleased to announce that May 16, 2012, I was able to make this dream a reality. On that day, the Bloggess was in town doing a book signing and I went to go visit her. I thanked her. We were both a little awkward, then I stared at her boobs.

You can't see them because of the arm, but I could.

Mission. Fucking. Accomplished. Thank you again, Bloggess, for enabling me to reach my goals.

So I guess this post actually ties together all three of my B posts for the past A-Z challenges. My first year was B is for Boobs.

I like to get to know you wonderful people, so don't forget to leave a comment and come back tomorrow when our topic will be "C is for Chocolate." Don't worry, I'll make sure to make it a little inappropriate.

Monday, April 1, 2013

A is for Adult Content

Wonderful news, everyone!

It is once again time for the annual A-Z blogging challenge. It's that magical time of year, full of shiny hope, where I pretend I'm capable of assimilating into the blog-o-sphere, but have my hopes dashed throughout the month as my ideas degenerate into discussing yaks and offending like, 70% of the Mommy Bloggers.

They shouldn't be talking about their boobs if they don't want me to be talking about their boobs. I'm kidding. Who doesn't like people talking about their boobs? That was rhetorical. I know that the people who have lost a breast to cancer, or have the super-floppy-pancakey ones often don't like to discuss it, but you didn't need to bring that up.

Have some fucking tact.

Which brings me to today's point.

This is the first year in the A-Z challenge where a blog can sign up under a particular category. It's completely optional, except if you're an Adult Content blog, then you'll be removed if you're not listed as such.

I took a look at some of the (AC) blogs and a lot of them were talking about dildos, buttsex techniques, and all sorts of miscellaneous things about genitals and how to use them.

Now, I almost never actually write about sex, but I sure do say fuck a lot. I figured that whether you're writing about dicks and twats, or you're just calling people dicks and twats, it still comes under that category of "adult content." If my posts were being read aloud on television, that guy would have to come on beforehand and say "viewer discretion is advised."

So, if you're coming here from the A-Z blog list because you saw the (AC) and you were looking for tips on how to find the best glory holes, I'm not your guy.

If you're looking for somebody to use a considerable about of profanity to go on a long rant about why their favorite television show is degrading, then we're all in luck! 

I've decided to do a vaguely writing-centered series of posts this month. Join me tomorrow for "B is for Bloggess." So, leave a comment, Like me on Facebook, watch my About video, and let's get started!