Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas with the Family Again: Couldn't be as Awkward as Last Year... Right?

It's almost Christmas.

What the fuck, did you guys know about this?

Damn.

I'm up around Ann Arbor visiting my sister again for this most tree related of holidays.  Sorry Arbor Day, try sucking less, or advertising more... like, maybe get a mascot?  All I'm saying is that no one sings about their trees on Arbor Day, and you're supposed to be all about trees.  Don't you feel like maybe you should step it up a notch?

Anyway, the lovely and talented Miss Kagashi asked me to look her up next time I was in the Ann Arbor area, but she's not answering.  I guess spending time with family on Christmas Eve is more important than dropping everything to meet up with a moderately familiar acquaintance at the drop of a hat.  Pfft, whatever.

Sadly, my beloved sister had to work today, so in an effort to lighted some of the load, my father and I went out for some last minute beer groceries lots of beer.  That's when we ran across this:


Me: Huh, it looks like they make a beer of the Edmund Fitzgerald now.
Dad: Huh, I wonder how it goes down.

And that pun was too good not to be rewarded with beer.

Later, after my sister still hadn't gotten home from work, I attempted to further bond with my father, with whom I've only relatively recently become acquainted.  Evelyn Kriete seems to be under the impression that he is a super-villain, but that's just because of his reputation for living alone in a house deep in the woods, surrounded by security cameras, and that he fixes robots for a living.  Anyway, during our conversation we briefly discussed his hobby of purchasing things in internet auctions and turning them around to sell again.  Such as this blue school bus he recently picked up. 

Seriously, I don't even know where to begin.

So yeah, that's what I'm up to.  I hope everyone else out there is having a beautiful and surreal time with their families, too.  If you happen to have a moment, tell me about what you're doing.  I love hearing from you guys.
Oh, and Merry Christmas.*


*No, I don't care about your beliefs.  Christmas is happening with or without you, and I want you to have a good day, so suck it.**  Merry Christmas!!!

**You're dicks for making me explain that.  Why can't you just be happy?  There was a nice lady at the Best Buy today who's birthday is on Christmas.  If I said to you "Happy That Nice Lady at Best Buy's birthday," would you get so offended?  I would hope not.  Anyway, Happy That Nice Lady at Best Buy's birthday, everybody!  I love you!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

A Minor Disagreement

Someone keeps trying to convince me that there is some sort of phallic implication involved in Roger Wood's Lumberjack Sausage.

Personally, I don't see it.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

SWTOR is Here: I'll Miss You All


The story starts with a video gamecompany called Bioware. In 1998, they came out with a D&D videogame called Baldur’s Gate. I ruined my first car trying to help mydear friend Brandon Mason trying to get that game. That journey ledto what is now known as my Werewolf Story, I should tell it to yousometime.

In 2002, Bioware released another D&Dgame, Neverwinter Nights. I spent WAY too much of my life playingthat game. The story and the gameplay were amazing. There was afeature that allowed the player to use the game engine to constructtheir own worlds and story lines, allowing completely freshplayer-generated content, online. It was a breakthrough.

2003 was where things changed. Biowarereleased another RPG named Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. KotOR was one of the most influential games of our time. It wasnumerous awards and changed how much of the Star Wars communityviewed their beloved IP. The game centered on the little-known eraof Star Wars mythology known as The Old Republic. It took placearound 3,000 years before the rise of Darth Vader. In those timesthere were still thousands of Jedi and thousands of Sith. There wereforms of the Republic and Empire, but they were different. It was afresh look that still felt every ounce the Star Wars we grew up with. The setting was intriguing, but it was the story that blew us allaway. That was when Bioware cemented itself as a powerhousestory-teller in the minds of gamers everywhere.

They released Mass Effect in 2007 andshowed us all that they were able to produce epic story and gamequality consistently, and this time with an independently created IP.

Now that you have a glimpse at thebackstory, let me tell you about 2008. That year Bioware announcedthat it was beginning construction of its very first MMO. We wereall thrilled. If Bioware could produce an MMO with the same qualityas its single-player RPGs, then it could be something really special. Not long afterward, there were rumors that Bioware had been workingclosely with Lucas Arts, purchasing various development rights. Manypeople began to wonder if these two were related. Could Bioware beplanning a Star Wars MMO?

Before we go any further, let memention that there was already a Star Wars MMO at this time. It wascrap. Complete. Crap. We, as a gaming community, were ashamed ofit. It was called Galaxies. It was set in the movie era and itwould take an entirely separate long post to explain why it was sobad, but take my word for it. The question was, how could Bioware’sStar Wars MMO stand tall and majestic while knee deep in the rancormanure that was galaxies?

On October 21st 2008, we gotour answer. Bioware officially announced that it was developing aStar Wars MMO set in the time period of The Old Republic. It was asif millions of voices suddenly cried out in joy, and they haven’tyet silenced.


For over three years now, I have beenfanatically following every aspect of the development of this gameand have been impressed at every turn. My friends and I havediscussed every aspect of this game at great, great length. Theinterest that others put into following sports, politics, orprostitution, we put into this. Theorizing and fantasizing about itbecame a major aspect of our lives. With every addition detail welearned it seemed more like they were making an MMO just for us.

The Game officially releases onDecember 20th, but those that pre-ordered can get in earlybased on how early they pre-ordered. I pre-ordered the very morningthat pre-orders were available. Pre-order.  I got in yesterday. At7:15am on December 13th 2011, I logged into Star Wars: TheOld Republic. With the exception of a lunch break, I played straightthrough until midnight. The experience has continued to exceed everyexpectation in every way. Except the fat-dude thing, that’s prettydumb.

I guess what I’m saying is this:




Saturday, December 10, 2011

Come Sweet Slumber, Enshroud Me in Thy Purple Cloak

Things That I'll Be Talking About Soon:

Misadventures in Engrish Comp: How to Distrust Foreigners
Apple Bucking Season: How I Became an Apple Thief
The Rapture: Why it's Good to be Black and Rich and a Bad Person
Happy Anniversary: One Full Year of Meet Adam Jones
SWTOR is Here: I'll Miss You All
Christmas with the Family Again: Couldn't be as Awkward as Last Year... Right?
Chino Bandito vs. Hankook Taqueria: Everybody Wins
Where the Socks Go: Who are these People?
Sudden Epiphany: I Must Croon


For now, though, some thing else:

I am so.  Fucking.  Tired.

I went to go look for a picture to illustrate how tired I was, and I ended up with this frog:

what is this I don't even

That doesn't even relate to the topic at hand, yet I am too tired to do anything about it.  That's what you get.  I have been doing full-time work, almost full-time school, and trying to have friends for months, and I am now fully insane from lack of sleep.  How insane?

 

That is a couch that is also a pig.  I believe that this fully illustrates my state of mind.  However, my last final was today and I'm going to be able to take a little bit of time to catch up on my sleep.  Which is what I should be doing now.  It's just that I promised a stranger at a party that I'd post tonight and I hate being a liar.
So for now, sweet dreams!

Oh, and what have you all been up to?

Monday, October 3, 2011

Getting to Know Your Adam Joneses

Occasionally I look to see where you people are coming from.  Most of it is the usual: Facebook, Twitter, etc.  A lot of you are getting here by searches that I'm not terribly comfortable with.  On top of that, when I try to duplicate these searches, I can never find myself the same way.  You sickos must be going through hundreds of pages looking for "sexy cheetara" and "penis penis penis."

In fact, I can't even find me in a reasonable number of pages when searching for "Adam Jones."  The reason is that there are too freaking many of us, and we're all very accomplished.  So I decided to share with you the various Adam Jonses that stand between me and the front page.

As far as I can tell, We seem to fall into three different categories.

The Sports

Adam Jones - The Football Player
This fellow is often referred to as Adam "Pac-Man" Jones.  Because of this, people at my last job wanted to call me Adam "Pac-Man" Jones.  I told them that was absolutely unacceptable.  Not that I had anything in particular against the guy, I just knew nothing of footballing and didn't want a nickname related to it.  So, they instead called me Adam "Not Pac-Man" Jones.  This was acceptable.  I still don't know anything about the guy.  I have linked to his Wiki page, but I honestly cannot be assed to read it.



Adam Jones - The Baseball Player
This one plays baseball.  I once saw a baseball game.  That's about all I know about anything about this.  I'd love to be more informative here, but we have a long way to go.









Adam Jones - The Racing Driver
This guy is British and drives a racing car.  I've never seen a car race, but I'm sure that he's very good.  He's about my age, within a month of each other, so that's nice.









Adam Jones - The Motocross Driver 
This one does Motocross driving... or riding...  I don't really know what it's called.  Racing.  He races Motocross bikes... motorcycles... dirt-bikes... He seems really nice.




 
Adam Jones - The Rugby Player
Wow, Adam Joneses sure do love to do various sporting things.  This guy is Welsh and does Rugby.  Frankly, he seems like a... nice enough fellow... as far as Rugbyists go... I suppose.









Adam Jones - The Other Rugby Player
So this one's also a Welsh Rugby man.  There's not a lot of info on him, not that I would have read it anyway.  He sure does seem concerned about whatever is happening in that picture.  I hope that it all turned out okay.









The Arts 

Adam Jones - The Bassist
We seem to have reached the end of the line for sports related Adam Joneses.  This one is a bassist for a musical group called Tool.  It is my most sincere hope that one day someone will read this and not know who or what that is.  If that is you, bless you.  You are so lucky.  I'm not even including a direct link to the music, in hopes that you can continue your blissful ignorance. 












Adam Jones - The Photographer
I think this is a picture of the guy.  He seems very stylish.  He specializes in wedding and portrait photography.  His website is nice and I like his stuff.






 

Adam Jones - The Other Photographer 
He's a landscape and nature photographer from Kentucky.  I don't know, I'm not even paying attention anymore.  If you're still reading, good job.  It's about to get better.








The Sciences

Adam Jones - The Geneticist
We Adam Joneses are a very intelligent people.  Few exemplify that fact more than myself and these other Doctors.  This one is a professor at Texas A&M University in the Biology department.  He once wrote something called Environmental, demographic, and genetic mating system variation among five geographically distinct dusky pipefish (Syngnathus floridae) populations.  Damn, son.  That's some hotness.  In other news: Dusky Pipefish would be a great band name.





Adam Jones - The Genocidist
I have taken to calling this man a Genocidist.  If you want to know anything about Genocide, this is your man.  The guy eats, sleeps, and breathes genocide.  He has taught, lectured, and written 15 books about it.  True story.  He has even put together a website where he shares his picks of Twelve Great Songs About Genocide.








The Enemy 

Adam Jones - The Enemy
Just one surprise category.  This guy.  This effing guy.  He does photography, graphic design, computer engineering, and is working on computer-human interfacing virtual reality.  That all seems to be pretty bad-ass, so why do I hate this guy?

This is the jerk-face that actually has AdamJones.com... and he's not actually doing anything with it.

It could be for genocide.

For shame.








So, as you can tell, we Adam Joneses are a varied and talented people.  Me?  I show up on the 23rd page of a Google search and far too many people accidentally find this place when they're looking for porn.

This is not that kind of site, people.

Not until I start losing too many followers, then perhaps I'll renegotiate.

But not before.

Please don't leave me.




Thursday, September 29, 2011

Oh, Depression...

Fun Fact: Camels rape each other a lot.  Did you know that?  They do.

So it's been a few weeks since I've posted.  I haven't had a good track record recently.  I have this thought that this blog is what will teach me how to better communicate with an audience.  I have aspirations of being a writer and one day building a fan base and this blog is like a practice go.  I don't mean to convey the idea that I don't care about you all, or that I don't take this seriously.  It's just that I need a safe place to build myself up and see what works.  I need to find a way to tackle major issues before they can become crippling to any sort of future career, and I think I've come across the biggest so far.

Depression.

I've noticed that when I go A.W.O.L. for the longest is when I've gone through my toughest bouts.  I have an important step to make.

1. All of my life I've been struggling with depression.
2. I've chosen a profession in writing.
3. Depression keeps me from writing.

I need to find a way around this.  When I sat down to write this I intended to write an elegant insight into what it's like to experience depression.  I find that I cannot find the words.  When I try it comes across as whiny or preachy.  I find that I'm rather prone to melodrama.  Ideally I'd like this blog to be humorous with a touch of real human experience.  I don't want it to be an online journal detailing the trivialities of day-to-day life, or a soap box for me to whine about whatever is bothering me.  Still, I feel the need to touch on it at least briefly.

Depression isn't simply getting hung up on a problem or a lack of ability to "get over it."  It's a real, physical thing.  It comes and goes and when it comes, everything hurts.  Simple tasks become exhausting and problems seem insurmountable.  Hope feels like a lie and everything you do is wrong.  You get so tired and overwhelmed that you can barely see the point of going on.  The world seems so dark, and it's so easy to let it collapse around you.

Over the past couple of years I've learned to distinguish what are my real thoughts and what are the depression's thoughts.  I've gotten much better at not acting on the ideas born of depression.  The biggest problem as it relates to this blog is that it also stifles creativity, at least it does for me.  I find it hard to be witty an irreverent when all I want to do is hide, cry, and sleep... often in that order.

I haven't found the answer yet.  I'll probably keep looking all my life, but in the meantime I've found a few things that help.

1. I keep a pill fob clipped to my belt loop at all times.  Like here for instance.  Inside it I keep little scraps of paper.  Written on them are the secrets of happiness that I sometimes stumble across.  When things get bad I look through them and try to remember what I'm doing.

2. I sit down and reacquaint myself with the people and things that inspire and encourage me, like:


3. I talk to my friends.  I don't always know how to say what I'm feeling, and they don't always know what to say, but it means the world to me to know that they care enough to try.

So, I can't guarantee that it won't happen again, but I want you to know I'm trying... and that you guys are never far from my thoughts.

Are there things about yourself that you find yourself struggling with that keep you from what you want to do?

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Double Panda All the Way

My birthday was Sunday, I was at Dragon*Con, and I was drunk as all hell.  I considered getting some sleep, but a crowd of complete strangers burst into my room and sang unto me the happy birthday song while I was in naught but my Spider-Man boxers.  They were thirsting for adventure and there was still two hours left of the steam-punk ball.  Naturally I dressed as a steam-punk panda.  That is to say, goggles, a cravat, and my panda jammies.  While there, I boogied, mingled, and ran into a girl panda.  We posed heroically for the camera.  Sadly, I was too drunk to remember to offer her one of my cards.  Perhaps one day she'll stumble across the site and give me permission to use this photo of her:
The Bloggess would be proud.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Progress!

Okay, fine.  The numbers don't lie.  The Dear Princess Celestia bit goes into the failed experiment pile with Adam Jones Speaks.  I'm sure a few of you liked it, but not enough to keep it going.  We had a good run, though, and I'm sure I'll bring it back from time to time when I get really bored.

In other news: I just had one of the most productive weeks I've had in a very long time.

1. I sorted out my financial situation so I could register for classes at the last minute.
2. Purchased and acquired books for said classes.
3. Did a week's worth of school.
4. Did a week's worth of work.
5. Went to two birthday parties.
6. Went to dress rehearsal.
7. Wrote the most recent Remnant vignette for PDP.
8. Drove to Birmingham for a photo shoot. (7 hour round trip)
9. Ran an extended D&D game.
10. Spent quality time with quality people.

So please understand and forgive me for not writing much last week.

In other news: It is very nearly my birthday!

I almost never do anything for my birthday.  Every year it falls on Labor Day weekend, which is completely encompassed by Dragon*Con.  It's a lot of fun and it's a great big party, but it's everyone's party.  Hell, with all the people that go there, you could cram a room every night with the people who's birthday it is.  Last year was different, though. 

For my thirtieth I held a panel.  We commandeered a panel room after hours and held the Adam Jones panel.  There were expert speakers and I was presented my Doctor of Divinity certificate, and my Reverend title.  I had always wanted to be the Reverend Doctor Jones.  I mad a speech, people cried, it was great.  I can't do that every year, though.  It would lose its specialness.  However, this year I have this:


My Zazzle Store

I sell merch now.  If you want to get me something for my birthday, get yourself one of these delightful items.  Your happiness makes me happy, and who doesn't want to be happy on their birthday?  I love you all!




 




Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Remnant - A Prelude - Part 3

Another week has gone by and I've written another section of teaser for Penny Dreadful Productions.  Once again, it is paired with fantastic art!  The illustrations are by Amy Houser, and the typography is by Jim Ware.  Click on the art to read!  You'll be glad you did!*  Remember, you can read them all here.





*Probably.  I mean, I think it's likely, but I can't offer any sort of guarantee.  I mean, if you're already at this site, it probably means that you have some sort of affinity to my writing to begin with.  If that's not the case, I'm terribly sorry.  You must have somehow gotten tricked into coming** and I hope it wasn't too awful for you.  Have a great day!

**Probably by me.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, but Chains and Whips Degrade My Racial Heritage - Updated

So last January the world was introduced to the song S&M.  I heard it.  It was catchy.

It had become the virtual anthem of Frolicon when it came around that April.  For those of you who are blissfully unaware, Frolicon is a local perv convention that happens here in Atlanta every year.  As far as I can tell, it's just an excuse for a bunch of freaky skanks to get together and be skanky with one another.  I'm willing to accept the possibility that there is a greater social meaning behind it all.  Perhaps there is great social value in having a judgement-free place where people can express aspects of their sexuality that is typically shunned by general society.  Maybe it's a symbol of social growth and freedom.  However, they have a Fox Hunt, where people who get off on dressing like ponies chase after people who get off on dressing like animals... so whatever.

I would have loved knowing nothing about it, but apparently a lot of my friends are also freaky skanks.  In fact, when I do a google image search of Frolicon, I see at least half a dozen people I know right off the bat.  I've been having to hear about it every year since it started... I think in '05.  I heard... awful things.  I didn't want to go, no one was making me, so I didn't go.  Everyone was happy.

I got tricked, though.  Last April I got tricked into going.  I was meeting a friend to study.  She was late.  She said it would be easier for her to meet me at another place.  She gave me the address.  I got there.  It was Frolicon.  It was.. there was... I saw things.  Things that cannot be unseen.  I waited in what should have been a neutral lobby for 20 minutes.  It was not neutral.  It was their territory and they were marking it.  I was... uncomfortable. And I heard that damn S&M song like seven times.  I don't really know how they managed that, since the song is over four minutes long, but they did.

It was weeks later when I found out that the song was sung by Rihanna.  I took a look at the video.  My first thought was that it looked like a clown had eaten Perez Hilton and the gimp from Pulp Fiction and vomited them all over Rihanna.  Sadly, as I continued watching I realized that was almost exactly the case.

I guess what I'm saying is this:

I think it's weird when black people are into bondage.


Update
It has come to my attention that some people may not appreciate being called "freaky skanks."  My first reaction would usually be to tell them to stop being freaky skanks, and I wouldn't call them such.  However, I understand that lifestyle persecution is a real and dangerous thing.  Rest assured that I bear no ill-will toward anyone who is gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, dom, sub, or into furries, fisting, piercing, ponies, bondage, or anything that is safe and consensual.  And I absolutely do not condone or tolerate hate or violence in any form.  This is a satirical opinion piece.

Frolicon itself does its best to maintain a safe, respectful environment... though still one that kinda makes my eye twitch and my inner child sob.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Remnant - A Prelude

So one of the many things that's been keeping me busy lately is a project I've been working on with my dear friends at Penny Dreadful Productions.  We are working on a big surprise for Dragon*Con, and we've started making sneak-peeks to raise interest.  I've been working with a couple of fantastic artists.*  They've been putting together poster art and I've been writing a series of vignettes.  Together we're trying to give a solid impression of the world in which we're working.

The first one went up last week:

And the second went up yesterday:


Click on the art to read the associated short, or you can find them collected here.  There should be a new one every Wednesday until Dragon*Con.  Then we get to see the big unveiling.  We're all very excited.  You should be, too.


*I would name them, but I haven't discussed it with them; don't want to cross any boundaries.**

**You would all be proud of me.  I haven't exposed myself, tripped over a baby, or played any awkward staring games to or with anyone... so far... in a professional setting...***

***And this post started off so well.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I Have Found Their Homeland

Quick note:

So, I think I found out where Barbarians come from...

Across the street from my apartment.

Which prompted me to do a search, which lead me to...

Conan the Barber.

That is all.  You may now return to waiting for my next post.  Thank you.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Adventures in Steampunk

So last week I told the story of how I got to and from the World Steam Expo.  I feel that I should also mention one or two of the things that happened while we were there... like I promised.

First of all, there were two other events happening that weekend in the hotel.  One was a family reunion, and the other was a bowling convention.  So while you imagine the events, also imagine a very large confused black family, and scores of people in bowling shirts meandering around.  In fact, someone at the hotel was very tongue in cheek about the situation, as the following sign was found:



Delightful.

We were exhausted when we got there, but had to soldier on.  There were panels to do.  But I was lucky enough to see Miss Kagashi, one of my favorite bloggers.  And Dear Readers, I have the best of news.  Bitch had my hat!  Remember when I won a hat because I filmed a fake Japanese game show?  Well I did.  Sadly, due to perfectly understandable, yet unfortunate circumstances, I have not been able to receive said hat.  But she had it with her!

Behold the glory!

Is it not beautiful?  It is.  It's beautiful.  I bet you wish you had won the hat.  I don't blame you.  If circumstances permit, you are more than welcome to have your picture taken in the hat.

Finally, that same night there was a masquerade ball to get ready for... but I was too tired.  I just couldn't bring myself to put on any more uncomfortable clothes and pretend to be dapper.  So I did what any sane man would under the circumstances.  I added goggles and a cravat to my pajamas, and went to the masquerade as a Steampunk Panda.  And believe you me, you've never partied until you've Panda Partied.

A most of group shot.


I cut rugs with my mad skills.

Post-dance snack in the green room.

Also, I was just informed that there's a picture of The Panda playing cards in this article.

It wasn't all about the con.  Half the reason I went on this trip was to see my sister and her family.  I managed to grab lunch with her and spent some time with my niece at the park.

Is she not crazy adorable?

Overall the experience was a lot of fun, and completely exhausting.  I'm glad I went, and I plan on going back as many times as I can.  I always meet the most interesting people there.  This year I made friends with The Clockwork Dolls.  The Asian one made me tea.  Also, their music is good.



P.S. - And Duncan found a dog.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Inappropriate Haiku #6

Thank you all for your continuing support and love.  You guys are amazing.  You constantly feed my desire for praise and the flesh of the living... though the latter might explain my occasional drop in followers... anyway...

You have reached several new milestones.  There are over 50 of you following me on Twitter.  More than 100 of you have liked my Facebook page.  You have helped me gain Over 9,000 page views!  That's a very special number on the internet.  As is the custom, you will be rewarded with a haiku.  Due to the nature of this particular achievement, I will be making this an internet themed haiku, with all due links.  Please enjoy,
and in lieu of that, tolerate.




Inappropriate Haiku #6




This haiku has been brought to you by: The Internet

Friday, June 24, 2011

The Road to Dearborn

So four weeks ago I set out for the World Steam Expo in Dearborn Michigan.  I was to travel with my dear Kaiju-Senpai.  I feared the worst.  I feared… a Grand Adventure.

I didn’t want a Grand Adventure.  Those things are expensive and exhausting.  I wanted a nice quiet road trip.  We were going to pick up a nice girl named Brittani along the way.  Well, she seemed nice, I didn’t really know her.

The beginnings were ominous.  There was heavy rain and the foul stench of imminent circumstance in the air.  We packed as best we could, took a deep breath, and begun our journey.  The rain eased up and by the time we reached the edge of the city it had stopped completely.  It was a pleasing sign.

We were going slowly in the slow lane, just to be safe.  The roads are still slick for a while after that kind of rain.  I had to move over one lane to the left, though.  Directly up ahead was a cop car with his lights on.  It seems that there was already a wreck up ahead and they had just cleared the cars off to the side.

It was at that point a speeding van approached in the slow lane and decided at the last minute that he didn’t want to rear-end the cop, so he darted left… into my lane… where I still was.

So once again I found myself in a car that was spinning in circles around the interstate.

My car came to a stop only several feet from the people standing around from the previous accident.  Everyone was okay, though.  The right-back quarter of my car was pretty much shattered.  Funny enough, it drove just fine.

We went to the nearest Wal-Mart and bought some duct tape, blue to match my car, and taped the bumper back on to keep it from catching wind as we drove.  Then we promptly manned-up and continued our journey.

Busted Car
My poor baby.


We picked up Brittani and left my wheel well at her house.  We needed the room.  This is when I find out that Brittani, who I had only seen being quiet and sweet, was a foul-mouthed harpy of a woman.  So I spent the rest of the trip crammed between Godzilla and Baba Yaga.

We managed to make it all the way to Toledo before I got a flat tire.

Luckily there was a tire place two miles from where we were.  Baba was nice enough to find it for me and call them up while I was putting the donut on.  Since we were stopped anyway, I thought that this would be the ideal time to visit Last Chance Waffle House.  It is the last Waffle House on the way to Michigan.  I’d been wanting to go there, and it was just like I imagined: Like any other Waffle House.  That’s okay,  though.  That’s exactly what I wanted. It was the most delicious coffee I’d had in months.

The way back was much better.

Except that Baba Yaga needed to stop at a 7-Eleven to fulfill some sort of sentimental ritual, and then we stopped at a diner... which didn’t have anything I ordered.  So we were an hour late before we even started.

Kaiju-Senpai insisted on buying a book on CD for the ride home, so we stopped by a truck stop and took a look.  They looked through the fairly large selection and both independently picked the same book.  Apparently they were fascinated with The Rape Fairy.  They needed to hear about magical raping ways.  I really, really wish I were kidding.

Rape Fairy
I'll never understand women.

Instead we got a story that began “Prince Rupert rode his Unicorn through the Darkwood.”  I nearly died from ironic joy.

Somewhere along the line we had dubbed ourselves the Three Amigos of Disaster, so when it became dinner time, we couldn’t pass up this place.

Three Amigos
It seemed thematically appropriate.


Harpies at Rest
And the harpies were sated.

Then we made it home safe.  The End.



P.S. - If you’d like to hear about what actually happened at the World Steam Expo, tune in Monday.  You’ll be glad you did.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

International Relations

So today I'm at work, minding my own business, and heard an alert on my phone.  I looked and found that there was a message telling me that someone named Joe Fonda had sent me a friend request on Skype.  There was a very small profile picture of a brown-skinned person (maybe Asian, maybe Hispanic, it was hard to tell with so small a photo) sitting in a pick-up truck with a trucker hat, smiling at the camera.  I didn't know any such person, but decided to accept the invite nonetheless.

Almost immediately thereafter I got a message from Joe saying that I was familiar from LinkedIn.  I admitted that I didn't even know what that was, and Joe apologized, having thought I was someone else.  It seems Joe Fonda was looking for someone to practice English with due to an upcoming interview with HAUSCR.  After finding out that my new friend was in Shanghai, I could not resist an interesting story.  So I did what any reasonable adventure lover such as myself would do: I took my lunch break and spent the next hour on the phone with what ended up being an adorable Chinese girl.

We talked about things we like, our hobbies, and I even asked her some questions she might hear in an interview setting.  She asked my opinion on the Arnold Schwarzenegger controversy.  Apparently in China he's called Schwartzingu.  She's a sophomore in college and she's studying accounting on recommendation from her family, but she really wants to be a director.  Adorable.

Joe picked her name because the first part of her name started with a "Jo" sound, but didn't know it was a guy's name.  I explained that it can be a girl's name, but it can be misleading.  In fact, my mother's name is Josephine and often went by Jo when she was younger... so I just suggested to Ms. Fonda that she drop the "e."

All in all it was a fascinating and enjoyable experience.  It's not everyday you get a random phone call from the other side of the world.  I hope to hear from her again.


P.S. - Oh, and she says the sweetest things about this blog.  ^^

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Past Glory

Recently a friend of mine posted a picture of our 8th grade field trip to Washington DC.  It was a picture of the Supreme Court building and in the corner crept a 13 year old Adam Jones.

I have cropped the picture for emphasis.

God, how magnificent I was, even then.