Saturday, December 25, 2010

And So It's Christmas - Part 2

Earlier this month I had planned to write many insightful points of view centered around what Christmas is like for an Atheist.  Since then, the wonderful Pecanita has written just about everything I wanted to say, but better... so fuck her.  I won't waste my time.  The only difference is she's an angry Atheist, and I'm a happy Atheist.  So take whatever she says, apply the principle, remove the bile, and you pretty much get my point of view.

Also I don't want to go on about the joys of Christmas, and how it's all really about family and togetherness.  It's not that I don't believe it, I do from the bottom of my heart.  It's just that it's a bit played out.  I don't want this blog to sound like it was sponsored by Hallmark, so I'm going to jump past that and remind you of my Whores in a Dump-Truck post.

So, after secular, spiritual, and familial insights, what's left?  What is Christmas about?

1. Exhaustion.  This is ridiculous.  In order to get Christmas Eve off I had to work extra long hours the week before.  This is on top of this being the most intense time of year for my company.  My entire life for the past three weeks has been put on hold while we all wait for Christmas' lazy ass to finally get here.  Then there was Christmas Eve, where I had to awaken at 4:00am in order to make my flight.  I'm not alone, either.  A lot of us bust our asses every year to make Christmas seem as effortless and natural as possible.  To everyone else who wakes up Christmas Morning and endures family and children for the sake of family and children, when all you want to do is kill everything until it's quiet enough to go back to sleep: I salute you.  I'm proud of you.  Good job.

2. Food.  I know there are starving people in Africa, and down the street, and whatever.  I grew up on food stamps in a single wide trailer, so fuck off.  I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you.  I'm just trying to express that I know how lucky I am.  There is food everywhere.  EVERYWHERE.  There was a Christmas Eve feast.  There was a huge breakfast. There are already preparations for dinner.  There were handfuls of candy in the stockings.  There are cookies, candy, pies, cakes, and muffins all over the place.  I've made my peace with the fact that I'm going to gain five pounds before I leave here.  At this very moment I'm having egg nog and fruit cake.  Merry Christmas.

3. Awkwardness.  I don't care who you, this shit is weird.  This is my first Christmas that is anything like the Christmases I hear about.  There's family, and food, and a big tree with children opening gifts beneath it, and it's weird as hell.  Maybe it would be different if I had grown up with this family instead of tracking them down around the age of thirty and kinda wedging in, but I doubt it. From everything I've heard from people with families, it's always weird.  Before this Christmas was always Chinese restaurants with my mother.  That felt weird, because I knew that no one else had Christmases like those.  So I'm betting that no matter what, Christmas is some weird-ass junk.  No matter what.

4. Doctor Who Christmas Special.

So go forth and love your family!  Love your food!  Whether  you've been together your entire lives, or just met... Whether there's turkey or egg rolls... get some sleep and smile a bit.  It's been a long year, and this is our reward.

Merry Christmas!  I love you all!

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