Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Beer Shakes

I go crazy sometimes.

Sometimes I get a thought in my head and I can not rest until I have done something with it.  It becomes a quest.

One time I realized that it had been years since I'd had a root beer float.  I had to fix that.  I grabbed Stiver and dragged him to the store.  He was crazy that night too.  We were going to feast on ice cream and root beer.  On the way to the root beer we passed the beer.

Beer Floats.

It sounded disgusting but I couldn't bring myself to not try it.  I wasn't going to waste good beer on it, though, so I picked up a case of Natural Light.  It was going to be... one of those nights.

We got home and poured tall glasses of Natural Light.  I wondered how long it had been since anyone treated Natural Light with enough respect to pour it in a glass and not just chug it from the can and toss it into the bonfire that was burning in the oil drum.  We each scooped in some of the rich vanilla ice cream and took sips at the exact same time.  That way neither of us could wuss out when seeing the clearly dismayed gagging reflex we were sure was going to follow.

It was delicious.  I can't explain it.  There was just something about it that was really nice.  We were trying  to figure out why we weren't crying from revulsion and Stiver kept calling them beer shakes.  I kept correcting him, telling him that if they were beer shakes they would have been put in a... oh my god I have a blender!

We put the rest of what we had and put it in the blender.  I put in some chocolate and a couple of bananas.  To make Chocolate Banana Beer Shakes.  I'll tell you what, that shit'll get you high.  There was something about the alcohol in the beer, the sugar in the ice cream, the potassium in the bananas, and whatever the hell it is in chocolate that makes you love shit, that when you put it all together... it's magical.

Stiver broke out his guitar and we sang songs about how happy we were and how much we loved beer shakes, and the music sounded just like we felt.

Sadly, none of the recordings survived.

7 comments:

wbalelo said...

I honestly cried reading that.

Too funny...

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Makes me sad to be lactose intolerant.

Jennifer said...

As soon as I finished reading this, I texted my brother (who is in college and likely NOT amused at getting texts from his sister @ 7:45 am) for his email address. I don't feel that the "ASAP" was unnecessary, either. The discovery of beer shakes will, in all likelihood, make him the coolest kid on campus. Thank you, Adam. Elon thanks you too, they just don't know it yet :-)

Adam Jones said...

Wendy - “The one who loves you will make you weep.” - Argentine Proverb.

Jenny - I got you covered. My bff is severely lactose intolerant. Breyers makes a lactose free vanilla bean ice cream. It's slightly less awesome than the original, but when mixed in a beer shake, there's no difference.

Jennifer - You are right. This is news that is worth being awoken for. You are wise to recognize this. I hope that your brother finds the joy that I have found.

I Am Stiver said...

Top 5 favorite times at the ghetto apartment.

1. Beer Shake Night
2. The Bonesy and Sriha Duet
3. Night of the Midget Sex (Adam was not involved, I don't think anways)
4. ummm... Not getting shot
5. George Foreman Steak and Potato Night

thelittlepecan.com said...

I expected one for my birthday...but alas...

thelittlepecan.com said...

I may never get over my Bloggess jealousy. I'm just sayin'.

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