Saturday, August 13, 2011

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, but Chains and Whips Degrade My Racial Heritage - Updated

So last January the world was introduced to the song S&M.  I heard it.  It was catchy.

It had become the virtual anthem of Frolicon when it came around that April.  For those of you who are blissfully unaware, Frolicon is a local perv convention that happens here in Atlanta every year.  As far as I can tell, it's just an excuse for a bunch of freaky skanks to get together and be skanky with one another.  I'm willing to accept the possibility that there is a greater social meaning behind it all.  Perhaps there is great social value in having a judgement-free place where people can express aspects of their sexuality that is typically shunned by general society.  Maybe it's a symbol of social growth and freedom.  However, they have a Fox Hunt, where people who get off on dressing like ponies chase after people who get off on dressing like animals... so whatever.

I would have loved knowing nothing about it, but apparently a lot of my friends are also freaky skanks.  In fact, when I do a google image search of Frolicon, I see at least half a dozen people I know right off the bat.  I've been having to hear about it every year since it started... I think in '05.  I heard... awful things.  I didn't want to go, no one was making me, so I didn't go.  Everyone was happy.

I got tricked, though.  Last April I got tricked into going.  I was meeting a friend to study.  She was late.  She said it would be easier for her to meet me at another place.  She gave me the address.  I got there.  It was Frolicon.  It was.. there was... I saw things.  Things that cannot be unseen.  I waited in what should have been a neutral lobby for 20 minutes.  It was not neutral.  It was their territory and they were marking it.  I was... uncomfortable. And I heard that damn S&M song like seven times.  I don't really know how they managed that, since the song is over four minutes long, but they did.

It was weeks later when I found out that the song was sung by Rihanna.  I took a look at the video.  My first thought was that it looked like a clown had eaten Perez Hilton and the gimp from Pulp Fiction and vomited them all over Rihanna.  Sadly, as I continued watching I realized that was almost exactly the case.

I guess what I'm saying is this:

I think it's weird when black people are into bondage.

It has come to my attention that some people may not appreciate being called "freaky skanks."  My first reaction would usually be to tell them to stop being freaky skanks, and I wouldn't call them such.  However, I understand that lifestyle persecution is a real and dangerous thing.  Rest assured that I bear no ill-will toward anyone who is gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, dom, sub, or into furries, fisting, piercing, ponies, bondage, or anything that is safe and consensual.  And I absolutely do not condone or tolerate hate or violence in any form.  This is a satirical opinion piece.

Frolicon itself does its best to maintain a safe, respectful environment... though still one that kinda makes my eye twitch and my inner child sob.


Dan Wolf said...

There is nothing I disagree with in this.

Goblinkatie said...

You are so astute my dear. <3

wbalelo said...

I nearly peed myself reading this one...because I was laughing, not because I get off on it. ;)

Anonymous said...

I was working at The Chamber when the first Frolicon/whatever the fuck it was called before that happened, and after reading a review where in a man saw a woman so large he could only reference as a whale for the rest of the article was being pleasured by five men. In retrospect I wonder if she was really being pleasured or if she was truly Akira and had sucked them into her pulsating fat rolls. Either way, I have never been tricked so cruelly as you have and I tip my hat to you sir. And I don't care what they say. They are skanky whores. I embraced my inner skanky whore, they can too. Jerks.

Adam Jones said...

Dan - Some things are universal.

Katie - How astute of you to notice. ^^

Wendy - Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Hobbit - Well, I suppose even Akira needs love too.

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