|Pictured here reveling in their superiority to|
the commoners who walk beneath them
There was also some guy in a tux, he seemed nice.
I love going to weddings because they are all about three people. In order of importance it’s:
1. The Bride
2. The Groom
3. Adam Jones
Not many people know that, but it’s true. Now, I never interfere with ceremonies, toasts, or pictures, but in those brief moments when it’s not about the bride and groom, it’s Adam Jones’ time to shine. Buffets, open bars, and dance floors are my ancestral home and where I feel most at ease.
Then I get to win.
|Pictured here bowing in appreciation of|
the applause, ‘cause I’m a classy bitch.
On this particular evening the groom decided to toy with us by aiming the garter to and fro, up and down before he released. Normally I refused to be manipulated, but there is no room for shame in a garter toss; I circled the crowd as his aim shifted. In the end, it fell short, almost directly behind him. I dashed forward and landed in a power slide, beating out my closest opponent by mere inches. So powerful was my slide, it left a streak on the floor.
|Pictured here suspiciously eying something to my right.|
Whatever it was, I’m sure I protected everyone from it.
This goes down in my book as the best wedding that I have so far attended. Good job everyone.
We all love you very much, Katie. I cannot express how much joy I hope is in your future, but I have no doubt that it will be there waiting for you. Consider yourself blessed by the Reverend Doctor Jones.
Only once the last song began to play did I reveal the true glory of Adam Jones.
|Pictured here being awesome.|
Anyone have any awesome wedding experiences they’d like to share?
Oh, and all the pictures were from the lovely and talented Annie Gannon Kaufman.