E is for Evelyn

That is some hot shit, right there.

There are just a handful of couples that we know are supposed to be together - Jack and Jill, Romeo and Juliet, Adam and Eve... well, if you're gay there's Adam and Steve.

I'm not what you might call a Christian, but it's hard to fight the notion, this bizarre sense of imposed identity that there's supposed to be an Eve out there that I'm supposed to be with.  Truth be told, I've never even met an Eve.

Many, many years ago I latched onto the name Evelyn as a real-life equivalent.  Strangely enough, I always equated this name to myself.  In video games I almost exclusively play female characters.  My thought on this is that if I'm going to be staring at someone for many hours of my life, I prefer it to be a hot chick.  That said, due to the nature of video games, I still want to identify with these characters.  So, when it comes time to name them, I want to give them a feminine version of my name... except that there isn't one.  There's no Brian/Brianna, Joseph/Josephine, Francis/Frances version of Adam.  The only thing that ever felt right was Evelyn, so that's what I name all of my lady-selves.

I'm just egotistical enough to want to name a child after myself, but what if I have a girl?  I decided I would name her Evelyn.  I realize that it doesn't quite fit.  If a guy named Romeo married a woman named Karen and named his daughter Juliet, it would seem weird to me.  However, I don't care.

Then I actually met a woman named Evelyn.

Photo by Coilhouse

This woman is so prolific that just glancing at her itinerary drives me to nap.  Also, she is mad talented.  When I first met her, she bossed me around and posed me like a doll for photographs, before introductions.  So, super hot.  If she didn't live 1,000 miles away, we'd be knee-deep in babies by now.  It's probably better if she doesn't know that I've been calling myself Evelyn for years.