Sunday, November 14, 2010

The Most Portentous Clover Ever - Part 2

When I got home from finding the first four-leaf clover that I had in years, I sliced a bit of my thumb off.  Sadly, there is no good story to go along with this.  I was cutting onions.  I was improperly using a slicing device and paid the price with my flesh.  I was in such a panic that I just put the missing bit back on and put a Band-Aid on it, hoping that it would just decid to latch back on.  I was beginning to feel quite distraught and betrayed by my clover, until I remembered that my friend K.T. lost half her thumb in a metal shop accident (which is bad-ass).  So who knows, if it weren't for the clover, I could be missing a lot more thumb.

There's... a lot to cover, so I'm going to start summing up.

Caught in thunderstorm, super late to work, got stick caught in my car, thought I had a flat tire, but didn't.  It was the stick... it would make sense if I explained it... but no.

On Devil's Night an old friend I hadn't heard from in ages called me out of the blue to tell me she was going to be at the same party as me, and that I should keep an eye out for her.  I had planned to be alone in my living room, in my pajamas.  Instead I decided to go to this party, of which I had never heard.  It was at a seedy warehouse in the middle of nowhere and she was two and a half hours late.  It turns out the good party was at a different seedy warehouse further down the alley.  God I hate the scene.

On Halloween I went to see my bff Mareta at her Haunted House.  She had been doing make-up effects, but I hadn't gone to see.  It was good, then her husband and I went to go have coffee.  We talked for hours about a constant trend of the older generation of any age scorning the social change brought on by the younger generation, and other stuff... which was weird, cause we never really talk.

And my mother's husband didn't have lung cancer, as it turns out.  Just Sarcoidosis.  Which in itself isn't great, but it beats lung cancer.

I was dating a girl in Chicago, from Atlanta.  That wasn't working out well, so we ended things in Wisconsin.

A gorgeous woman caught my fly down, and The Most Interesting Man in the World covered for me. (Seriously, Google this dude.  It is ridiculous.)

One of the most bad-ass women on the planet didn't seem to mind when she found out that I have a huge crush on her.  Also, she kissed me.

My flight home got delayed, and when I went to sleep that night, the frame above my bed fell on my head.

I bought a new jacket.  Okay, I get that this one may not seem weird to anyone.  I get that.  But trust me, that is bizarre.  Like woah.

Stiver and I went to a diner to get coffee.  We got tired of the place, so we walked down the street to the Waffle House to get coffee.  On the way there was a donation bin with the most bad-ass poster ever.

I call it "Two Moon Panther."
(My wall isn't yellow, it's just weird light.)

Can you believe that someone was getting rid of that?  It is now on my dining room wall.

Thing is, after several straight weeks of strangeness, I thought "I have got to tell someone about this."  Then I corrected myself  "No, I have got to tell everyone about this."

So here it is.  Inspired by a clover, and built solely so I can tell you about the weird shit in my life.


And help satisfy my enormous ego.


Jenny said...

I get the deal about your new jacket. I like it. The extra zipper pocket makes you look dashing. :)

After following your link to The Most Interesting Man in the World, I now have an insanely overwhelming urge to move to England and take up fencing. I already want to live in England, and swordplay is just cool.

And lastly, I think it's refreshing that a) admitting you have a ridiculously inflated ego seems to off-set it a bit. I find that people who have enormous egos and then try to hide the fact by acting all modest, are some of the biggest JERKFACES I've ever met in my life. And b) although you repeatedly admit to possessing a larger than average ego (as far as egos go, I suppose. Who measures these personality traits, anyway?!), to my knowledge you never put other people down or resort to underhanded self-esteem damage. Cause that would just be mean.

Jenny said...

PS- While looking through some latin phrases and translations, I found the definition for "ego": It said "consciousness of one's own identity". I know a ton of people who would give anything to have a better understanding of who they really are. Your tags for "overwhelming ego" just mean that you are several steps ahead of most of the rest of us in the "figuring out what the hell life is about" game. :)

Adam Jones said...

@ Jenny - Thank you for remembering that dashing is my favorite complement, it's always nice to hear.

It's true, I do think I'm some kind of wonderful, but so are most other people. Some just don't take the time to realize what makes them so great.

And I think I get what you're saying about the Latin. It's the simple act of being so egotistical that makes me better than others. I get it now! Thanks!

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