Remember when I had some people visiting from out of town? No, I wouldn't expect you to. Anyway, one of them left their Noxzema Face Wash in my shower. For the last couple of weeks I've been briefly noticing it while showering, thinking that I should probably do something with it, then promptly forgetting about it the moment I dried off.
However, this morning I was noticing that my face seemed particularly oily and dirty, so I thought, "What the hell. The rightful owner of this Noxzema Face Wash is never getting this back. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I cleared up my oily skin." Now my face smells like eucalyptus.
And I couldn't be happier.
I had forgotten about it in the oh so several years since I've been a teenager, but I love this shit. It is intoxicating. Now I just wanna eat bushels of eucalyptus leaves straight from the tree. This is where being a koala would come in handy, because I'm pretty sure that shit is toxic to everything but koalas. Also, I would then be one of the cutest things ever. And viscous. With their claws. Of course, I'd be a mean son of a bitch too if I were two feet tall, had giant claws, and was high on eucalyptus all the time.
I'd be a Drop Bear.
Now I'm going to go out and buy some Halls Mentho-lyptus cough drops. Because I miss smoking, and it'll make me feel like a bad-ass koala, smoking his hand rolled menthols, occasionally munching on some poison leaves.