I Was Meant to be a Koala

Remember when I had some people visiting from out of town?  No, I wouldn't expect you to.  Anyway, one of them left their Noxzema Face Wash in my shower.  For the last couple of weeks I've been briefly noticing it while showering, thinking that I should probably do something with it, then promptly forgetting about it the moment I dried off.

However, this morning I was noticing that my face seemed particularly oily and dirty, so I thought, "What the hell.  The rightful owner of this Noxzema Face Wash is never getting this back.  I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I cleared up my oily skin."  Now my face smells like eucalyptus.


And I couldn't be happier.

I had forgotten about it in the oh so several years since I've been a  teenager, but I love this shit.  It is intoxicating.  Now I just wanna eat bushels of eucalyptus leaves straight from the tree.  This is where being a koala would come in handy, because I'm pretty sure that shit is toxic to everything but koalas.  Also, I would then be one of the cutest things ever.  And viscous.  With their claws.  Of course, I'd be a mean son of a bitch too if I were two feet tall, had giant claws, and was high on eucalyptus all the time.

I'd be a Drop Bear.

Now I'm going to go out and buy some Halls Mentho-lyptus cough drops.  Because I miss smoking, and it'll make me feel like a bad-ass koala, smoking his hand rolled menthols, occasionally munching on some poison leaves.