Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Let's Pretend It's Last Week: Part 2

And so it's the Ides of March.  Other than the seriously negative experiences of Julius Caesar, not much is attributed to this day... by most people.  For me, there is more.

It was on this day last year that I made my best attempt to quit smoking.  It's still going on, more or less.  Once upon a time I was a pack-a-day smoker, and had been for quite some time.  I made several attempts to quite over the years, and several of those went quite well.  In fact, it's been a few years since I was a pack-a-day smoker.

But I've never been able to cut it out completely.  Last year I decided that I was going to try a different route.  I was going to stop smoking regularly, but if I needed to break, I was going to let myself.  The point was to not be smoking regularly anymore.  Overall, I consider this past year a success in that regard.  I'd have to say that I've probably smoked a total of six packs over the last year.  I'd say a pack-every-two-months smoker is better than a pack-a-day one any day.

Except for this last week.

It's interesting to me how all my bad habits seem to feed off each other.  When I'm not doing any of them, it's easy to keep not doing them.  However, when I start slipping with one, it makes it harder to stay firm with the others.  You miss a couple of workouts, you eat some foods that you probably shouldn't have... definitely shouldn't have, maybe drink a little too much, smoke a little too much... and all of a sudden it seems like all the progress you've made has slipped back a year.

I'm trying not to make it a big deal.  It happens, and all I have to do is just stop it.  It's as easy as just making the decision to do so.

But habits... addictions... they make it hard to remember how easy it is to just stop.  They weasel into your head and make you feel weak, whispering their lies.

Luckily I'm way too bad-ass to give into that kind of bullshit.  So back to the treadmill I go, hand me an apple, keep your smokes.

I got shit to do.


thelittlepecan said...

I am SO feeling the same way. I actually find quitting something easier (drugs, smokes) than having to "cut back." I can't quit eating! And I never seem to find time to exercise, but I know those are just excuses. I keep putting forward at least a half assessed effort on the calorie counting...hoping that by trying still I'll make a better effort.

thelittlepecan said...

Assed. Not assessed. WTF.

Melissa said...

Good for you! I'm walking alot there days, trying to clear my head and shake of the anxiety that has become my life, but undo all of my goodness by chain-smoking every night. I blame the earthquakes. That excuse will get old soon and then I will do something about it, but for now, Im keeping it. So there. You need to post more, Ive missed you.

Adam Jones said...

Pecanita - I know, right? If I could just quit food outright it would make things so much easier.

Melissa - You hold on to that excuse for as long as you needs to. Hell, I'm still getting to work late because of all the damn traffic from the '96 Olympics.

I'm gonna post overload this week, and hopefully get back to a normal schedule next week. Good to hear from you. Hopefully you won't have to miss me again for a while.

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