And so it's the Ides of March. Other than the seriously negative experiences of Julius Caesar, not much is attributed to this day... by most people. For me, there is more.
It was on this day last year that I made my best attempt to quit smoking. It's still going on, more or less. Once upon a time I was a pack-a-day smoker, and had been for quite some time. I made several attempts to quite over the years, and several of those went quite well. In fact, it's been a few years since I was a pack-a-day smoker.
But I've never been able to cut it out completely. Last year I decided that I was going to try a different route. I was going to stop smoking regularly, but if I needed to break, I was going to let myself. The point was to not be smoking regularly anymore. Overall, I consider this past year a success in that regard. I'd have to say that I've probably smoked a total of six packs over the last year. I'd say a pack-every-two-months smoker is better than a pack-a-day one any day.
Except for this last week.
It's interesting to me how all my bad habits seem to feed off each other. When I'm not doing any of them, it's easy to keep not doing them. However, when I start slipping with one, it makes it harder to stay firm with the others. You miss a couple of workouts, you eat some foods that you probably shouldn't have... definitely shouldn't have, maybe drink a little too much, smoke a little too much... and all of a sudden it seems like all the progress you've made has slipped back a year.
I'm trying not to make it a big deal. It happens, and all I have to do is just stop it. It's as easy as just making the decision to do so.
But habits... addictions... they make it hard to remember how easy it is to just stop. They weasel into your head and make you feel weak, whispering their lies.
Luckily I'm way too bad-ass to give into that kind of bullshit. So back to the treadmill I go, hand me an apple, keep your smokes.
I got shit to do.