Sunday, January 23, 2011

I Still Don't Got It

A couple of people thought I may have been too hard on myself on my recent report card, especially in the Romance subject.  It turns out they are wrong.

That very evening I went to go have dinner with my old friend, the Zombie Angel and catch up on times.  On the way out of the diner she mentioned how cute it was that the waitress was flirting with me, and I was all "She was what?"

As far as I can tell, I lack the part of the brain that recognizes this spectrum of human interaction.

Seriously.  You people need to tell me these things.  While they're happening.  If you don't want to just flat out say it where people can hear you, send me a text.  I don't care if I'm sitting across the table and you don't like sending a message up into space just to get it three feet away.  This is not about you.

You know what?  I'm going to have business cards printed up that are solid green, and I'm going to pass them out to everyone I hang out with.  So if you see someone flirting with me, pull the card out of your wallet, look at it nonchalantly, and put it back.  You know, like your just trying to remember an address.  When I see that, I'll know that someone around is trying to flirt with me.

I need your help, people.  These poor women need your help, too.

We're counting on you.


Anonymous said...

"I lack the part of the brain that recognizes this spectrum of human interaction."

Hey, me too! It's okay - people like us still get by... it just means that, in the end, we become paired up with only the very most patient, persistent people, who are also extremely blunt and straightforward. Who needs social subtlety anyway? It's confusing! :P


Aaron said...

The main issue, I have always noticed, is not one of the signals being unrecognized. It's more that they're mis-categorized. I often am taken for a flirt when I merely am being nice—and the opposite is true as well; Oftentimes I take for politeness what others take as flirting.

Food for thought. I do like the green cards though.

Miss Kagashi said...

I don't know when people are flirting with me either. It usually takes someone nudging me in the ribs or hissing in my ear to notice if someone is being anything but nice most of the time.

Adam Jones said...

Gail - Yes, I'll have to keep my eye out for such a person. I've met the occasional person like that. It's very refreshing.

Aaron - Yes! That's exactly it. I thought the waitress was just being particularly friendly. Perhaps angling for a better tip. But then, I may have issues.

Miss Kagashi - Well, with the advent of the Green Card system, it should be much easier to clue you in.

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one, and that I'm in good company.

I Am Stiver said...

I have the opposite problem, because I believe everyone is flirting with me. Which leads to awkward times at a buffet table.

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