Tuesday, April 19, 2011

P is for Pornography Puns (contains no actual porn)

This A-Z challenge has been a lot of fun for me.  There are some letters that I can’t think of a single interesting thing to discuss, and there are some that I just can’t narrow down.  I sat there wondering whether to discuss pornography or puns.  They are two of my favorite topics, and I just couldn’t choose.  That’s when a friend suggested that perhaps I didn’t have to.

I mentioned some time ago that I worked for a couple of years in a porn shop.  Overall, it was a fantastic experience which afforded me many great stories.  This is one of my favorites.

My friend Timy (pronounced “Timmy”) was working the counter one night.  A midget walked in and began to look around.

Before we go any further, I’ll let you know that I refuse to call midgets “Little People.”  I know that’s the Politically Correct term, but I don’t care.  To me, it’s like saying that they’re like people, just less.  It feels offensive, and I won’t do it.

So eventually the midget walked empty-handed to the counter and got Timy’s attention.  He said “Excuse me, do you have any midget porn?”

Now, we typically carried quite a lot of midget porn.  It was one of our top sellers.  It’s just fantastic.  Until you see it for yourself, you just can’t understand.  The problem is, because it’s so popular, it was difficult to keep in stock.  So Timy tried to tell him that we were currently out.  Instead, without thinking, he looked down and told the man “I’m sorry sir, we’re a little short.”

It is uncanny, the human ability to say just the wrong thing at just the wrong time.

What’s an example of a moment where you shoved your foot in your mouth?

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